F’nAround Review: I Went to the Illinois DMV and Now I’m Confused

Jun 22

Written By Joe P

F’nAround Review: I Went to the Illinois DMV and Now I’m Confused

There are certain places in life where your expectations are firmly established.

The DMV is one of them.

Nobody walks into a DMV expecting a magical customer service experience. You expect long lines. You expect confusion. You expect someone to tell you that you brought the wrong document despite bringing every document you’ve owned since kindergarten.

So when I recently visited the Illinois Secretary of State facility at 125 West Monroe in Chicago, I was prepared for battle.

Instead, I was caught completely off guard.

I hadn’t been to a DMV in nearly a decade. My last renewal was before COVID and involved little more than getting a new picture taken. Before that, the last time I had to take an actual written test was around 2010.

Back then the process was simple.

Someone handed you a booklet.

You speed-read it for ten minutes.

You relied heavily on knowledge acquired years earlier.

You passed.

Everyone went home happy.

Apparently that’s no longer how things work.

Before my visit, the online system indicated I qualified for a safe-driver renewal. Then my renewal letter arrived informing me I would need to take the written exam.

Fine.

No problem.

I showed up expecting the DMV.

What I got felt more like the opposite of an airport security checkpoint.

Everyone was friendly.

Everyone was efficient.

The second I sat down, someone was calling me to the next station.

I don’t think I spent enough time in any one chair to become emotionally attached to it.

The operation moved.

Fast.

Then came the test.

Gone were the paper booklets.

Gone was the speed reading.

Gone were the pencils.

Gone were the tiny desks.

Everything was computerized.

The screen presented questions one at a time. As soon as you answered, the system immediately told you whether you were right or wrong before moving on.

After answering question after question correctly, something strange happened.

The test ended.

Twenty-eight questions.

Done.

I sat there staring at the screen wondering what I had done wrong.

Had the computer crashed?

Had I accidentally submitted something?

Was I being quietly escorted into a secondary testing room?

No.

The employee explained that once you reach 28 correct answers, the system ends the exam because you’ve already passed.

That actually makes sense.

If the passing score is 28 out of 35, there’s no reason to keep asking questions once you’ve mathematically passed.

But then I witnessed something that completely changed my understanding of the test.

A man a few stations down asked where the questions he skipped had gone.

The employee explained that when you skip a question, the system simply gives you another one.

Now my curiosity kicked in.

Wait.

What?

You can skip questions and get different questions?

That means everyone isn’t necessarily taking the same 35-question test.

That means the test isn’t really fixed at all.

And that immediately made me start thinking about incentives.

On one hand, I understand it.

People get stuck on confusing questions.

People misread things.

People panic.

A computerized system can keep the process moving while still measuring knowledge.

On the other hand, the strategist in me couldn’t stop wondering:

At what point does a knowledge test become a customer service process?

If you can skip difficult questions and receive different ones, is the goal measuring competency?

Or is the goal processing as many successful renewals as possible while still maintaining a testing requirement?

To be clear, I’m not accusing anyone of doing anything wrong.

I passed my test.

My temporary license was printed.

My permanent license will arrive in the mail.

The entire experience was pleasant.

What fascinates me is the design of the system itself.

Because every system reflects priorities.

This system appears designed around efficiency.

The employees were efficient.

The testing was efficient.

The scoring was efficient.

The renewal process was efficient.

Honestly, the entire experience was so smooth that my first reaction wasn’t relief.

It was suspicion.

The Illinois DMV may have accidentally created the most shocking experience possible:

A government office that works well enough to make you wonder what happened.

I walked in expecting the DMV and left with an existential debate about adaptive testing algorithms.

All DMV locations:

Chicago Central

This facility is permanently closed.

Chicago Public Service

This facility is permanently closed.

Deerfield Express

Annex, 405 Lake Cook Road, Deerfield, IL 60015

Appointment Required for Driver Services

Mt. Carmel

This facility is permanently closed.

F’nAround Review: I Went to the Illinois DMV and Now I’m Confused

Chicago Area

Chicago Central

Chicago Public Service

Deerfield Express

Northern Illinois

Western Illinois

Central Illinois

Southern Illinois

Mt. Carmel

Sideshow Gallery Review: We Accidentally Walked Into a Renaissance Faire, a Witch Market, and Someone’s Side Quest